Resting from Childcare :: 12 of 31 Days of Blogging :: Rest

Day 12 :: Rest

In this season of my life, the rest I crave is rest from children, rest from the constant needs, the constant changes.  In All Joy and No Fun: the Paradox of Modern Parenting, Jennifer Senior explains why children are so exhausting.  We adults can never get into a flow; every time we start to settle into a task we get interrupted.  Washing dishes is fine, but it's exhausting when every two minutes I need to stop what I am doing and get something for my kids or redirect them to a better activity.  Right now the rest I crave is getting to sit and talk to other adults, being able to have a conversation, getting to think about something interesting to me without being interrupted. 

I crave that rest. Right now being a BSF Children's leader is one more thing that exhausts me.  The leaders meeting is good, but it does not give us a chance for real conversation, especially since our leaders' circle has more than fifty women in it.  I'm lucky if I can say a sentence during the whole two hours.  And then, of course, caring for, teaching, and directing one-year-olds for 2+ hours is also tiring.  The only restful part of the whole process is the prayer time in the leaders meeting.  We do pray together for about 20 minutes and that is a time of rest for me, a time to connect and focus on what I need to think about, who God is.

Part of why I am blogging about being a Children's Leader is because I appreciate the privilege it is to be able to speak the gospel to these children, but I am not sure if this is really what I should be doing during this season of my life. 

Dare I say I am a teacher? :: 11 of 31 Days of Blogging :: Teach

Wow, I see now why it's important to blog every day.  I stop for a day or two and all of a sudden it's been a month! 

Part of why I have taken such a long break is because some real life craziness has been going on but part of it is that I have been dreading this prompt: Teach.  "Teach" or "Teacher" always makes me think of James 3:1 "Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." (NIV 1984)

I am called a BSF Children's Leader, but what I am doing part of each morning is teaching 11 month to 20 month old children bible stories.  And every day I teach my children by how I live my life and whether that matches up with what I say.  I say we should trust God, but does my life show trust or fear?  I say God loves us, but then I feel insecure about myself and my abilities, like I have forgotten about grace and am going back to live under the law.

Thinking of myself as a teacher makes me feel nervous, sometimes quite afraid.  Perhaps that means I need to spend more time thinking and praying about what God has called me to.  I know Christ dwells in me and that's the only reason I can presume to be a teacher.